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Neverglades logs 4: Humans of the Neverglades

In todays log we will discuss the fluffy’s second most common killer. Humans.
But before we do that I would like to explain more of the fluffy’s biology.
The nutrition of the fluffy in the Neverglades is actually quite good. They are omnivores believe it or not. Meat does have some vital vitamins that they require to sustain good nutrition. However, they can have a full vegetarian diet and survive, however, their muscles and digestive system will not be up to par. Fluffy’s from the north tend to have lots of diarrhea, that is what happens if their only food source is just milk or just grass. Grass is low in fiber and nutrients compared to other vegetables so it is no wonder northern feral fluffy’s defecation is mostly liquid. In Florida, they can eat pond apples. A very bitter but still nutritious cousin of the apples we know and love. Fluffies don’t seem to mind the bitter taste, however, that is because they are feral. Pond apples were given to domestic fluffies and they rejected it. As ferals they will make the most out of any flavor. Other fruits they can eat are seagrapes, coconuts, and the thousands of orange, lime, and peach trees left over from the farms. Such trees are now spreading all throughout the Neverglades. As for meat, they have 2 main sources. Other fluffies, foals, and insects. They will munch on the countless grasshoppers, ants, beetles, and any other small arthropod. So I guess fluffies are above at least bugs in the food chain, however there are plenty of insects that can eat them if they have large numbers. With such a balanced diet, mares rarely have stillborns or defective foals! Also these Neverglade fluffy fecal matter is solid. Their rear ends still get covered in the stuff however…
The Neverglades have countless factions that scour the land. Keep in mind fluffies are biologically programmed to love humans unconditionally. Most feral fluffies have never seen a human and yet they still crave their love. Our drones have caught them murmuring to themselves that they want a “hooman huggies.” Humans are practically mythical gods to them at this point. When they do see one, they will become overjoyed and charge towards them asking for “huggies” and “gib upsies.” The human almost always kills them. After a few foul encounters with a human a fluffy will learn to fear us, unfortunately, they can’t seem to teach other fluffies that lesson.
In parenthesis is how their standings are with fluffies, from most friendly to least it goes
Loving-neutral-aggressive-hostile.
Researchers (Neutral): Us, we do not kill fluffies unless required for an experiment or if we are low on food supplies.
Rangers (Aggressive): These are the park Rangers, they are one half invasive species hunter, one half SWAT team. They will kill any python, boar, Nile crocodile, or iguana they come across. As for fluffies, they used to kill on sight, but the fluffy population always seemed to bounce back. They were spending countless dollars on ammo and trying to club a whole herd to death could take hours. And again, the fluffies always bounced back, always. They deemed it pointless unless using them for target practice. Also, they will kill them if bored.
(Video plays, it seems to be from a phone)
Filming Ranger: Duuuuddee got the ‘nade?
A herd off fluffies are running to them in the distance, feint “huggies” and “upsies” can be heard.
Other Ranger: Yeah dude! Fuckin’ watch. (Now Shouting) HEY FLUFFS, PLAY WITH BALL!
He pulls the pin to the grenade and throws it at the herd. The fluffies shout “yay baww! fank 'ou.” They played with the grenade for only a second before it went off, causing blood, shit, fur, and dead foals to coat the surrounding land. The explosion was followed by the roaring laughter of the Rangers.
(Video Ends)
Armed with assault rifles and large artillery, the Rangers are also in the Neverglades to stop the Cuban Cartels, Brofluff Cultists, Anarchists, malfunctioning robots, and any other nefarious activity in the Neverglades.
[Redacted] Man (Extremely hostile, even to [Redacted]!): [Redacted] Man is [Redacted], im*e#sely da^ng3r&s [Red4c1ed] d0 4OT A9pr0c#-----
Squatters (Hostile): Not everyone took kindly to evacuate all land south of Lake Okeechobee order. Many demanded to say, and the governor obliged, however, he warned them that there would be no police force or fire fighters to protect them, or corporations to supply jobs. Over the years many Squatters moved back to the inhabited parts of Florida such as the pan handle after life got too rough. Not only that, many Squatters have been killed by the Cartels, Anarchists, and even panthers and black bears. The Fort of Fort Myers was completely destroyed by [Redacted] Man. Which used to be the largest Squatter stronghold. Now they are sparse and no longer live in large communities, instead they live more of a hermit life. Fluffies are their main source of meat. They will hunt them; such a task is easily done with fluffies prancing to them. But they will also construct traps. The most effective is a Comfortfluffy. Think of it like a scarecrow but opposite. It is human effigy that it is made to attract Fluffies. As they approach the comfortfluffy, the fluffies will try to hug it. At the base of the comfortfluffy is a large mouse trap device hidden under pine needles. Such a device can kill 5 fluffies in 1 activation.
(Video starts)
A Comfortfluffy is erected in the backyard of an isolated house in a grassland. Around the Comfortfluffy is tan palmfrawns that hide the killing mechanism. There is even a small radio hidden in the chest of the Comfortfluffy playing songs one would hear on Fluffy TV.
A small pack of 5 adult fluffies with 2 mares with foals on their backs happily waddle towards the comfortfluffy shouting “huggies!” They begin to nudge the pants of the comfortfluffy and although metal creaking sounds could be heard, the trap does not activate. Then one of the fluffies begins to jump while singing “upsies!” The jump was just the pressure needed to activate the trap. A rusty screech is heard as the trap activates and 4 mouse trap-like bars swing down around the comfortfluffy. The cheers of the fluffies turn to a quick shriek, a loud crack, followed by some meek crying. 3 of the fluffies died on impact, their scull or chest cavity popped like a pimple. The 2 that survived had their hind ends crushed and their entrails shot out their rear. “Big owwies!!!” They meekly cried as the life in them slowly drained. The Foals that got hit by the bars were completely obliterated. The ones that were not hit were completely unscathed, however, they began to cry about everyone taking the “foweba sweepies.” As shadow then looms over them.
“Sandra! Were havin’ foal stew tonight!”
(Video ends)
Cuban Cartels (Hostile): Even after the legalization of marijuana the Cartels did not slow down. They are still quite in business thanks to the ever-growing demand for cocaine, heroin, and opium. The Cartels will make landfall in the Neverglades if the make it past the heavily patrolled Keys Atolls. They even have some bases the Rangers can’t take out unless they get military assistance. The Cartels will actively lure fluffies into their bases. They will put signs featuring happy looking humans with arrows pointing at the base. The fluffies will gladly follow the signs. Once lured into the base the Cartel henchmen will slaughter them for food.
Anarchists (Loving to Hostile): True to the definition of their namesake, they have no set rules or governance, and most anarchist groups have no relation to one another. You’ll have the ones who come to the Neverglades to abuse its low surveillance to torture and murder Squatters, other anarchists, and any other poor human that gets in their way. They will of course have their way with any and all fluffies. Then you’ll have the more hippie kind who just want to have a nice little commune away from corporations. These are usually very loving to the fluffies, most wont even hunt them with the amount of vegans they have. However, these communes don’t last long due to attacks from the Cartels, other anarchists, [Redacted] Man, and even large animal attacks. We’ve even witnessed a massive pack of coyotes kill an entire commune.
Brofluff Cult (Loving): This all male cult worships some sort of female equine pantheon. Part of their religion is to be subservient to all fluffies. They will come to the Neverglades and build small fluffly sized homes. They will cook countless spaghetti for the fluffies. They will protect the fluffies, even going as far as killing any human who dare hurts a fluffy. However, do note they will… mate… with a mare they call their “fluffu.” They will also breed fluffies in hopes of reincarnating the “Daughters of the Goddesses.” The Rangers will keep a close eye on them, if they make any aggressive move towards other humans the Rangers will rout them.
Pirates (Hostile): Basically anarchists that patrol the seas. They will commonly go ashore to restock on fluffies unless the find a drifting boat full of fluffies.
Fathers of Freeport (Hostile): Please remember, when I write “hostile” I only mean to fluffies, these men are actually very kind. The name of their faction was dubbed by me, they are simply Bahaman refugees searching for food. After sea level rise the Bahaman government disbanded, taking the upper class with them to live in Florida’s panhandle. The rest of the civilians were left to fend for themselves. Food is now critically short over in the Bahamas. What little land is left can’t grow food and the coral reefs have been overfished to depletion. However, some savvy fisherman have learned about the fluffy situation in Florida. They sail over to the east coast and collect a hulls worth of fluffies to take back to the remnants of their starving country. This particular group I was monitoring always stocks up at an atoll building at Hallandale Reef. This building is completely surrounded by water and somehow stuffed to the gills with fluffies on all dry floors. I was even able to intercept and question the captain of the fishing boat.
(Start of transcript)
Researcher: So what brought you to Hallandale Reef?
Captain: The reefs ova’ by Miami have too many pirates scoutin’ the seas. But here it is close enough to Seminole Territory dat da pirates shy away.
Researcher: Has the Seminoles have any qualms with you?
Captain: Nah, dey know we mean no harm. We take only the fluffy ones. Dey seem to not care fo’ them.
Researcher: Are you afraid this building will run out of fluffies?
Captain: (Laughs) No, no, no. Dees tings have many many babs’. If anyting we be doing them a favor and stoppin’ them from ending up like our own home.
Researcher: Have any of your men gotten hurt trying to farm these fluffies?
Captain: Yes, a greenhorn died. The floors of dis building be covered in shit. Poor greenhorn slipped and fell down stairs.
Researcher: I see, have you encountered [Redacted] Man?
Captain: Oh no lord Jesus, nonono! We be going now, good day!
Researcher: But…
Captain: Our hulls are full, and you reminded me of why our people can’t immigrate here, goodbye! And may lord Jesus protect your soul, science man who pokes tings dat need not be pokin’!
(End of Transcript)
Seminole Tribe (Neutral): A very powerful faction on par with the Rangers when it comes to control in the Neverglades. With the rising waters the Seminoles have lost lots of their ancestral lands and the USA did not grant them any more territory. However, they adapted. Their crowing hotel, the Hard Rock Hotel was a casino and hotel that is shaped like a giant guitar. Now that it is surrounded by water, they modified it to work also as a yacht club and dock. They even built an underwater hotel near it. People from all over the world fly in to West Palm Beach to take a cruise to their establishment. They also rule the area with an iron fist, killing any pirates, cultists, Cartel, or any other undesirables that try to make a footing in their territory. To fluffies, they are indifferent. See them as nothing more as a pest. They will kill any feral fluffy that is found in the halls of their hotels. But for any fluffy roaming the marshes of their territory, they know culling won’t really solve anything, so they let nature take its course. They also breed fluffies for desirable colors and will even have Fluffy Shows where breeders exhibit their fluffy show-pony.
Fighters For Florida (Or the FFF) (Neutral to Hostile): With the right permits and go aheads from government bodies, civilians can enter the Neverglades. The FFF is a hunting force of civilians that is organized to hunt invasive species such as pythons, Nile crocs, and any other invasive threat. However, ones hunting for pythons and such do not target fluffies because they know it will make no difference and their reserve ammo is better spent fighting any human threat that tries to harm them. That being said, some… questionably moraled FFF hunters that call themselves “abusers” come to the Neverglades to only torture fluffies to death. Since fluffies are labeled as invasive animals “to be removed by any means necessary” the abusers are 100% in legal right to… “hunt” fluffies in any way they want.
That about covers the humans of the Neverglades. Now we shall talk about native fluffavores, aka native animals that can eat adult fluffies.
The Black Bear: This animal is an omnivore in which 80% of their diet was vegetation. Not anymore, now their primary food source is fluffies. Because they are easier to hunt then to forage for fruits. If a heard of Fluffies spots one, they will usually shout and panic and try to quickly waddle away. The Black Bear will make chase and usually eat the one that trips, or it will swipe at the slowest one and kill it. Black Bears can even take out a nest by themselves. Even if the fluffies try to hide in a burrow the bears can dig down to them, but they usually go after easier fluffy prey. Black Bears in human ruins have learned that pushing open doors or breaking into boxes, cars, trash cans, and other containers have a good chance of revealing a hiding fluffy. Also note, fluffies also tend to think ALL land animals fear the water like them and will rush into shallow water to escape the black bear. They will then tease the bear, until the bear effortlessly charges into the water and kills them.
Panthers: We have talked about the general hunting habits of the panther in log 1, however I’d like to add on the habits of an alpha male panther. Alphas will patrol a large territory and basically kill any animal it does not want in its territory including other male panthers. One alpha has been documented killing 125 fluffies in a mega herd. It only ate 2.
Florida Gar: This fish can grow up to 3 meters in length. It used to be a very rare sight this far south in Florida after overfishing from humans. Now, they have made ma huge comeback thanks to the Neverglades low human population and fluffies as a food source. Unlike smaller gar or bass, these fish can eat an adult fluffy. They will glide into the shallows and scoop up a fluffy wading through the water and then use its serpentine body to slither back into the depth all while the fluffy begs to be let go. If the initial bite does not kill it that is.
Raptors: Hawks, Eagles, Osprey, Falcons and any large bird that hunts with talons. The red shouldered hawk is very common predator of the skies. “Wingie munstah” as they are called by fluffies are common throughout all habitats and thus Raptors have the largest kill count of fluffies if you don’t count humans. Our camera drones must always use its cloaking device not only to not spook the fluffies, but to hide from raptors.
(Video starts)
A Red Shouldered Hawk sits on a tall cypress branch as it spots a herd of fluffies waddling into the dried cypress dome. “Fluffy so thiwsty… need some wawas…” They then come across a puddle and joyously begin to drink. That is when the hawk makes its move. It glides down under the branches and before the fluffies can even cry out in warning. The hawk snatches up a small adult fluffy, as it flies the fluffy shits on everything below. The hawk waits for it to stop shitting and carries him up to a branch. All fluffies scatter in fear but one, the victim fluffies mate and her foals. “Wingie munstah! Pwease gib speshuw fwend back!” The foals also cry for their mother’s mate. The hawk then lands on a branch and holds the fluffy down with one talon that has dug into his flesh. The hawk begins to peck at the fluffy’s side and the fluffy begins to cry out “biggest owwies!” The hawk rips out the fluffy’s liver, then a kidney, then more chunks of flesh until the fluffy dies of organ failure. Stated, the hawk then pushes the fluffy off the branch. Its corpse hits multiple branches on the way down until it lands and the mare and her foals begin to cry at his corpse. The mare then is snatched up by a bald eagle and the cycle repeats.
The video then shows a clip of two ospreys fighting over a filly midair. It should be noted that not all Raptors kill fluffies by consumption, sometimes they simply drop them. The osprey continue to fight until they drop the filly into the brackish water below. She screams and shouts until she drowns and disappears under the tea-like waters of the estuary.
The video then shows a clip of a bald eagle migrating high in the air. The fluffy it is carrying then shits so hard it startles the eagle and it drops it. The video zooms in as the fluffy splats on the abandoned parking lot below.
(Video ends)
Alligators: These ancient predators are a fluffy’s worst nightmare because it is a “wawa munsta” that can exit the water and kill them. It is immensely rare for an alligator to hunt on land. They are almost entirely ambush predators, laying low in the water, hidden until a land animal needs to take a drink so it can immediately bite the prey’s head and pull it into the water. Such a perfect strategy is why alligators have been relatively unchanged since the time of dinosaurs. Such a strategy is perfect to eat fluffies, to no surprise. However, why wait? Alligators will leave the water, charge at a herd and scoop up one that did not run away in time. If they see trapped fluffies, they can devour multiple.
(Video starts)
There is a large abandoned Olympic sized swimming pool that has essentially turned into a marsh. Ten fluffies have entered the pool on the shallow end where sediment pile up from draining rainwater has made a ramp. They waddle to the diving well of the pool which has become a small pond within itself. The fluffies begin to drink from the pondwater and a massive alligator from the kiddie pool scurries into the pool marsh. The fluffies finally see her but it is too late. The walls of the pool got them trapped and the alligator blocks the only way out. The alligator slowly gets them to back up into the corner of the pool as they meekly cry and whine and shit. She lunges forward and bites one, then a second, then another! She shallows 3 fluffies down as they scream and defecate. The rest of the herd use this time to escape. However, more alligators enter the marsh pool as their cries altered the whole waterpark.
A new video clip starts to show off how some mares will sacrifice foals to save themselves.
A mare is cornered in a sewer as a 50cm juvenile alligator hisses and harasses the mare. The foal on her back shouts “Mummah! make wawa munsta go 'way!” She lets out a sad cry “Am sowwy bestes' babbeh.” And drops the foal on the ground, the alligator scoops it up as the mare escapes.
(Video ends)
Seagulls: Alone they can eat a foal, but a flock can peck a lone adult to death and eat small chunks of them.
Those are all the native fluffavores we have for today. Next log we will talk about defective robots that are scattered throughout the Neverglades. And how their glitched programming makes them a threat to fluffies… unless their programming was to kill them in the first place. Then they are not glitched.
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US State & Territory Nicknames/Slogans (Which are your favorite? / least favorite?)

From these two wikipedia articles
State + Territory nicknames and tourism slogans (some of the following are meant to disparage the place it refers to):
Alabama
Alaska
American Samoa
Arizona
Arkansas
California
Colorado
Connecticut
Delaware
District of Columbia
Florida
Georgia
Guam
Hawaii
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
Maine
Maryland
Massachussetts
Michigan
Minnesota
Mississippi
Missouri
Montana
Nebraska
Nevada
New Hampshire
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
North Carolina
North Dakota
Northern Mariana Islands
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
Pennsylvania
Puerto Rico
Rhode Island
South Carolina
South Dakota
Tennessee
Texas
US Virgin Islands
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
Washington
West Virginia
Wisconsin
Wyoming
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[Race Report] VeteRun Half Marathon

Race information

Goals

Goal Description Completed?
A Mandatory: Thank volunteers Possibly too much, see below
B Mandatory: High five some people Yes
C Mandatory: Have a happy run Yes
D Don’t get lost Yes
E Stretch goal: New PR Yes

Training

This was the tune-up/mid-way point race for my training cycle for the Pittsburgh Marathon. I’ve been doing Hal Higdon’s Intermediate 1 marathon plan which has been going pretty well. It doesn’t include speedwork, but it’s really increased my mileage in a smart way, and for the first time ever, I’ve run over 100 miles a month (actually, for two months in a row!).
Generally I’ve felt pretty good, my legs have been sore, but in a good way, and I’ve been diligent with stretching and rolling (as well as adding some sort of core work each day), which has really helped, as I feel like I’m prone to ITBS.
When looking for race that fit into this schedule, all the local races were off by a few weeks, more geared towards other training plans, but as it turns out, there was this cool little half marathon right next to where my dad’s family is and is run on a motor speedway, promising a really unique experience!
Jefferson County is the last county on the eastern panhandle of West Virginia, and where my dad’s family was from and then eventually settled (once my grandfather was done moving around with the Army). It’s steeped in history, and as an added bonus, my aunt is a runner and agreed to run this with me, even though it was a new race for her as well! You may have heard of the town of Harper’s Ferry, and Summit Point is two towns over. Charles Town (not Charleston), is where my family is, and is home to a racetrack and casino.

Pre-race

Headed to Charles Town and the nearby community of Ranson to do early packet-pick up on Friday evening. The running store was cool, although a bit strange. They are a ‘minimalist’ running store, so only had a few types and styles of shoes (as well as a really nice selection of dressier shoes not for running, actually), but a huge selection of accessories (heated foam rollers, etc.) and clothing. They are also one of the members of Bros and Bras a fitness collective in the area, dedicated to getting people more active, so that’s pretty cool. I did pick up a massage Stick for $10, which was an awesome deal, and packet pick-up was pretty easy. However, they didn’t have the shoe tags, so we would have to go to packet pick-up again the next morning at the racetrack. The volunteers though were awesome (a theme that would continue)!
Charles Town has gone through a transformation. When I was little, it had one streetlight. The racetrack was there, but in the last ten years, the casino, Wal Mart, and pretty much everything else has sprung up, and now there’s like, six stop lights within the town borders! But it was nice to drive past my grandmother’s old house and see some of the sights I hadn’t seen in a few years, as well as what hasn’t changed. I had been back since the casino opened, but even since then, the town has grown a lot. It’s still a really quaint small town with a Southern feel, where at night, you sit on your porch and chit chat with the neighbors who happen to walk past, inviting them up for some sun tea. The sidewalks are brick and wavy due to the tree roots underneath, and no matter which way you turn you can see the roofline of a building that probably has some history going back to the American Revolution.
My friend came down with me to make a little ‘runcation’ out of the day, and my parents took us out to dinner at this amazing restaurant that had cuisine from Lebanon (I’m Lebanese), Morocco, Spain, France and Italy. It all worked together, and the sheer variety was amazing. They had the best pita bread outside of my family I’ve ever had, and really good homemade hummus. I had the couscous with cranberries and walnuts while the live musician entertained the dining room.
The race has* an 11 a.m. start, which is really strange, but since it’s the first weekend of March, the weather really could be anything. Before we headed to the race track, we stopped by my uncle’s bakery and he had made me some sourdough bread to take home with me! We headed to the motor speedway, got through security, got our shoe chips and waited around a bit. Due to the high winds, the park had lost power, so while VeteRun promotes heavily the fact that there are real bathrooms, not port-a-potties, because they had no power, the bathrooms were closed. They restored power at some point during the race and opened them, as well as the showers that were available on site. *Due to the additional security added by the race track, the race was delayed 15 minutes.
This was also the first time my parents came to a race of mine. I gave them cowbells, because why not, and they actually had a really good time; plus me, myself and my aunt could throw them stuff between the first and second lap if we needed to (they both did, I did not).

Race

So, one of my goals was to not get lost. I feel that with the course this half took that fear was justified. I did not get lost, thankfully. Another one of my goals was of course to thank the volunteers. I’m a happy runner, it’s just how I am, and one of the volunteers scolded me for being too happy to be running a half marathon as I ran past her, thanking her for the fourth time for being awesome and helping us not get lost, so I’m counting that as a win!
However, what we need to talk about is the wind. The wind was sustained 25 mph with gusts of 40 mph the entire time we were running. With how twisty the course was, along with the hills and banks, you’d be trucking along, and make a turn or come up over a hill and BAM! You’d suddenly have to hold onto your hat and lean forward to make any progress. The hills were rolling, although one was really steep, and that, combined with the wind, brought a lot of people to a walk.
The field was pretty small (103 for the half, 91 for the 5K, which started 15 minutes after the half), and I think a lot of that was due to the wind and many people not having power at home and having to deal with cleanup. At one point, I couldn’t feel my left hip because the cross wind was hitting it enough for me to lose all feeling.
My aunt is really a badass, and it was really cool to run with her! We stuck together and chit chatted for the first five miles or so, and that actually really helped to reel me in, letting me have the energy for a really good negative split. After she dropped back, I was alone for a long time, and I was honestly a bit worried about getting lost, but there were enough cones and signs that I was good!
As I came through for the end of my first lap, based off of my music, I was in position to grab a PR, so I decided to make that my goal and see if I could make it happen. I hadn’t come into the race with any real time expectation but I thought it was within reach, so I wanted to go for it.
I ran a smart race, slowly increasing my speed, even taking into account the hills I know I’d be encountering on the second lap. The wind was still a huge factor, you’d turn a corner and be smacked in the face, and it was unpredictable, but I just kept reeling in the people in front of me, passing them (usually on the uphills) and then keeping that lead. With less than a mile and a half left, the last huge hill in front of me, I passed someone as we made our way up and passed another across the bridge at the top of the hill. We chatted for a moment: it was his first race since 1987 (and major heart problems), and he was encouraging and inspiring! There was one guy left in front of me, who I really wanted to pass, and with about half a mile to go, I finally overtook him, and held him off on the kick, which was down one of the pit rows to the finish line.

Mental

February was a dumpster fire (work, family and personal issues), so I wasn’t exactly sure how this race would go. I went into it just figuring I’d use it as a chance to hone my race-day routine, but I think I have that down pretty well, although adding in the travel was a challenge for me, and I found myself packing and repacking many, many times, since I’d not be at my house for race day morning.
As we started the race, I enjoyed talking with my Aunt, and while normally my long runs are ‘me time’ where my mind works things out, I knew that any time with her would not be that, and once I framed it that way, I was okay with it. When she fell back and I continued on, my mind went to work like it sometimes does, working through things and fixing problems and digging around inside itself, and that was helpful, and good time for me. I really appreciated having both of those experiences on one run.

Post-race

I crossed the finish line in 2:13:15, more than a six minute PR! I remember as I was approaching the finish line, seeing the clock and saying out loud, “No ******* way!” I guess I still didn’t believe I was going to PR! Grabbed my medal, water (had to pass on the pizza since I’m a lactard) and had my shoe chip cut off before finding my family and then waiting to cheer in my aunt as she crossed the finish line. We grabbed a couple pictures before we headed out.
The power had come back, but we decided to shower at my parent’s hotel (they were staying another night in Charles Town) before we headed home, of course hitting the cosmic center of the universe: Breezewood, Pa. My aunt got first place in her age division! And will now be training for the Freedom Run Half Marathon and the Harper’s Ferry full, which is both historic and crazy in terms of hills!
All three of us left with windburn. My face, as well as my hands are pretty beat up from it, actually, so I’ll be doing what I can to heal, probably lost of chapstick and lotion. Nothing we could really do about it, but I feel pretty badass for getting a PR in those conditions!

What's next?

I’m halfway through my training for the Pittsburgh Marathon. I’m anxiously awaiting and dreading the return of spring weather (I’m sick of running in the cold, but I appreciate the extra emptiness of the sidewalks). With this PR and my long runs taking me up to 15 miles (I know there’s still a long way to go), I’m feeling much more confident than I was before. I’m a bit nervous about the mileage ramping up once again, but this helped a lot so I know I’ll be able to continue to work through my training plan.
The races in training plans are great for not only the practice of running on race day (and getting your running to fit on a set start time), but also as a way to see where you are in your own journey; and I had forgotten that. I don’t race over the winter, but maybe I need to change that moving forward, to keep me in that mindset and practiced.
My friend and I also had such a good time that we’re looking into what other close (or closeish) races we can do, hopefully making runcations a yearly event for us! She tossed out ideas for Virginia Beach and Cincinnati, and my parents would love for us to run the Outer Banks while they’re there (aka, Pittsburgh South Version 2, Florida is Version 1), so that will be the goal for next year!
I also have to help my mom figure out how to upload all of her pictures to a Facebook album, so I’ll be working on that this week (by working on, I just mean doing). I’ll be adding some more pictures that she and my dad took to the album I put together here.
This post was generated using the new race reportr, a tool built by BBQLays for making organized, easy-to-read, and beautiful race reports.
submitted by ThePsion to running [link] [comments]

Where to go next - North America

Looking for help/advice picking my next somewhat-local destination. Some background info... 31, single guy, grew up in the south-central U.S. (OK, TX, CO, KS, MO). I've enjoyed visiting places like Tucson, Colorado, KC, New Orleans, Louisville, and Philadelphia. NYC, Orlando, the FL panhandle & NE Florida coast left me feeling kinda "meh."
To explore places I haven't been as an adult, here is my short list for 3-4 days in April 2018. Things I look for: culture, landscape, good people, popular golf courses (avid golfer), maybe even a place where I could see myself living 20 years from now.
-Seattle, WA
-Calgary, Canada
-Asheville, NC
-Pittsburgh, PA
-Las Vegas, NV. (Crazy to think I've never been. Have heard there's a lot to experience, but keep thinking casinos or bust.)
submitted by gopokes86 to solotravel [link] [comments]

WEEKLY EVENTS 5/30 – 6/6

I do wish we had more late night food options around here.
Tally’s Independent Cinema and Theater Offerings:
Also
MONDAY 5/30
TUESDAY 5/31
WEDNESDAY 6/1
  • Bird’s Oyster Shack: Wednesday Night Lab Session Hosted by Jim Crozier, featuring Charles Atkins with Chris Skene. 6pm
  • Fermentation Lounge: Quizmaster General Knowledge Trivia. “Quizmaster is hosted by Bennett Miller from 7-9pm every Wednesday, and features three rounds of general knowledge trivia (and a weekly food special). It is free to play and teams of up to 6 are welcome. The winner of each round receives a sample flight, and the Quizmaster for the night receives a $25 gift card and serious credit on Geek Street.” 7pm
  • Brass Tap on Gaines: Trivia. Check their FB page for the theme. 7pm
  • Hurricane Grill & Wings: Trivia With Greg. 7pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: BYOBG! Bring Your Own Board Game. “Our gracious host, Trevor Bond, will be featuring one game each week. Feel free to bring your own games to play & share.” 7pm/21+
  • The Junction at Monroe: Karaoke and BYOB! Bring in a thumb drive and get a recording of your songs. 7pm/$6 coveBYOB
  • The Fox and Stag: Ladies Night with DJ Loden. 7pm-9pm.
  • Proof: Bar Trivia With Hank. Drink delicious brews and show off all those random factoids you thought you’d never use. Local beer, local trivia in the heart of Tally’s Art District. Bar tab for 1st and 2nd place teams. 7:30pm/no cover
  • The Warehouse: Open Mic. “There is a lottery for time slots. Now smoke free!” 8pm
  • El Patron: Karaoke with Big Bob’s Music Machine. 8pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Bird’s: Comedy Night. I’m pretty sure this is both a performance and an open mic. 9:30pm/free
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bills): Karaoke with Scott. 10pm
  • Wine Loft: 2nd Annual Wine Down to Summertime with the Capital Young Republicans. “Enjoy a variety of wines paired with complementary accompaniment dishes as you mingle with your fellow CYRs. Bring a friend! Let's take a moment to relax and experience a new wine or two.” 6:30pm
  • Bread & Roses: Soul Glo/ En Ami/ Myakka. 8pm
THURSDAY 6/2
  • Lake Ella Area: Food Truck Thursday Featuring Belle and the Band. 6pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Open Mic with Matthew Cloutier. “The only open mic that pays the performers! Bring your instruments and play an open slot or just come and be entertained in Tallahassee's best sounding room!” 7pm/$10/BYOB
  • Beef O’Brady’s: Trivia Night
  • Gaines Street Pies: Bar Trivia With Hank @ Warhorse Whiskey Bar. With a picture round! Sound round! Speed round! Hoarder’s Delight drawing! And all the other trivias! Win a delicious 18” pizza! 8pm
  • Dux (Crawfordville): Karaoke with Big Bob. $25 bar tab given away every week. 8:30pm-12:30pm
  • Midtown Caboose: Trivia Factory. 8:30pm
  • Pockets: Karaoke Dance Party with Keith Welch. 9pm/21+
  • Kleman Plaza: TLH Downtown Yoga presented by Florida Blue. 9pm
  • Applebees on Cap Cir: Karaoke with Amanda Goram. 10pm
  • Birds: Karaoke Hosted By Jumpin Jams. Some of the most diverse and longest running karaoke in town. 10pm
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bills): Karaoke with Davin. 10pm
  • Dothan, AL: Toadlick Festival. From 6/2 – 6/4
  • Old Capitol: Irreplaceable Heritage Exhibit Opening featuring Frank Vagnone. “Join us for the first look at our newest temporary exhibition on the 50th anniversary of the National Historic Preservation Act. Be among the first to explore the Act’s impact in Florida, discover its role in preserving meaningful places, and delve into the passionate campaign to save the Historic Capitol, one of Florida’s most iconic buildings. Author and "domestic-archeo-anthropologist" Frank Vagnone will present on his groundbreaking book, the Anarchist’s Guide to Historic House Museums. The Guide is a fresh look at the national discussion that questions the value of historic properties and what to do with “old” buildings.” 5:30pm/free
  • 701 Miller Landing Road: Top of Florida Soccer Club Presents: 2016-2017 Select & Competitive Tryouts. “Be part of the longest running soccer club in Tallahassee! 34th year and counting! To register for tryouts, please make an account online at www.tofsoccerclub.org . There is no fee for assessments.” 6pm
  • 926 Bar & Grille: DETRIMENT//POINT BLANK//HEAVENS DIE//GUTTWRENCH//TBA. 7:30pm
  • Bullwinkles: Bullwinkle's 2nd Annual Bar Golf! “Grab a scorecard at the door to start your round of Bullwinkle's Bar Golf. Each player will turn his or her score card in at the end of the round to be entered to win some awesome prizes. From golf bags to gift bags, TV's to boom boxes, theres a lot to win this year!” 8pm/$7
  • The Golden Park House (2548 Golden Park Lane): Corey Kilgannon with Landon Gay & Graham. 8pm/$8 (with pasta dinner)/all ages
  • Crum Box Gastgarden: Of Course Not. 8pm
  • Bread & Roses: RC PRESENTS: GILLIAN CARTER, Summer Cicada, Gorgeous, and SFS. 9pm
  • Rokbar: Liquid | Thursdays @RoKBaR - Grand Opening. 10pm/$5
FRIDAY 6/3
  • Camp Folks: Totally Tubular Fridays. “Spend a Summer's day floating down a lazy river! Every Friday in May, June, and July, Camp Folks will be doing tube runs to Spring Creek, otherwise known as "Bear Paw." Known for its leisurely speed and crystal clear water, Spring Creek and Chipola River, offers one of the most popular tube runs in the North Florida Panhandle. Let Camp Folks to take the wheel as you sit back and enjoy time spent with your tubular river crew! Choose to rent a single (bottom & no bottom), double, or cooler tube at checkout.” 11am-6:30pm
  • Parlay Sports Bar: Karaoke with Big Bob. 8pm
  • Leggetts: Karaoke with Paul. 8:30pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • 926 Lounge (Formerly Pugs): The Friday Night Party. “Get your pre-game on at Happy Hour with Tom from 4-9 and the dance party getting rolling at 10 pm with our favorite house DJs slinging sound all night long. At midnight, join our talented Queens for an amazing show!” 9pm/$5, $7 under 21/18+
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bill’s): Karaoke with DJ Scott Long. 10pm
  • Stetsons @ The Moon: Karaoke with Johnny Ray. 10pm/$5/18+
  • The Moon: Tallahasssee Latin Dance Festival 2016. “We are proud to invite you to Tallahassee Latin Dance Festival 2016. This is a showcase for latin dance performances, workshops, and social dancing for the entire family. This weekend event will feature latin dance lessons, including casino, salsa, mambo, bachata, and cha cha for beginners as well as intermediate and advanced workshops for the more seasoned dancers.” Begins at noon, runs for 2 days
  • St. Mark’s Lighthouse: Sea Turtle Release. “Three rescued endangered Kemp's ridlley sea turtles will be released back to the Gulf.of Mexico. Ryvir a mature Kemp's ridley was named after a 5 yr old girl who donated the money from her birthday presents to the sea turtles at Gulf Specimen. she will be one of the turtles released. Ryvir will be our Master of Ceremonies to preside over the release of her namesake turtle.Come out and wish the turtles: “Two Flippers Up" when they go home to their turtle friends in the gulf” 3pm
  • Walker-Ford Community Center Annex: Another Cry Save Our Youth From Violence. “Topics to be discussed: HIV/AIDS in the Teen community, Human Trafficking, Narcotics, Gangs and Violence.” 6pm
  • VENVI Art Gallery: Daniel McCord Taylor Fine Art Opening. 6pm/free
  • Mickee Faust Club: Queerioke. “It's time to unleash your fabulous side!! What better way to indulge your inner rock star than at 1st Friday in Railroad Square belting out your favorite queer anthems on the Mickee Faust Clubhouse mainstage? This event is free, tons of fun, and a totally come as you are gig- so bring your friends! You don't gotta be queer to be fabulous, so all are welcome.” 7pm
  • Hurricane Grill: Invented Truths. 7pm
  • Railroad Sq: B Major X Qultur: Live Art, Live Music. “First Friday is upon us once again! This month we have something "MAJOR" planned. We are partnering with B Major Prints a local staple in Tallahassee. While they do LIVE prints for your viewing, we will provide LIVE watercolor painting by the great Payton Hurley! As if it couldn't get any better there will also be LIVE music, but we will keep this a secret until the event gets closer to keep you on your toes ;)” 7pm
  • Cascades Park: Morning Fatty w/ Wolf & Witness. 7pm
  • B Sharps Jazz Café: Kalen Mercer Trio. 7pm/$10
  • Opperman Music Hall: FSU Opera presents Campbell and Bolcom's "Lucrezia" and Ferrer and Piazzolla's "Maria de Buenos Aires". 7:30pm
  • Birds Oyster Shack: Sgt. Bear w/Cole Goslee & Manuel Carvajal. 8pm/$4
  • Junction @ Monroe: The Jerry Thigpen Trio. 8pm
  • Side Bar: Brightside w/ Emerson, Midnight Matinee, The Brown Goose, Free Lunch & Paul Dinho. 8pm/$10
  • Crum Box Gastgarden: First Friday Featuring The Common Taters. 8:30pm
  • Bradfordville Blues Club: Joel DaSilva & The Midnight Howl. 9pm
SATURDAY 6/4
  • Park at Monroe: The Downtown Marketplace. 9am
  • Corner of Georgia & Macomb: Frenchtown Farmers’ Market. “The Frenchtown Heritage Market offers a wide variety of fresh, naturally grown produce. Live music, cooking demos, fruits vegetables, and honey sold directly by farmers.” 9am – 1pm.
  • Wakulla Springs Lodge: Bob Carey on Piano. “Come on out and bring along your vocal chops, browse through my lyrics book, pick up one of my pass-around mics and sing your heart out, or just grab a stool and enjoy a fun filled evening of music and dancing. Full bar open til late.” 7pm
  • Salty Dawg: Karaoke with Paul. Family friendly! 8pm
  • Leggetts: Karaoke with Cowboy Chris. 9pm
  • El Patron: Pasion Latina. Bachata, Merengue, Salsa, Reggaeton. 9pm
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bills): Karaoke With Devin. If you want to sing and drink cheap beer and liquor and not have to wait for huge crowds, this is your spot. 10pm
  • 926 Lounge: Sanctuary (formerly Blue Monday). “Tallahassee's Longest Running Dark Dance Night is here again! Wear your finest for Darkwave, EBM, Industrial, and some of your other favorites with some of the best and weirdest people in town. Fetish Friendly.” 10pm/$5/18+
  • Tallahassee Harley-Davidson: 7th Annual Taylor Fitzgerald Poker Run for Angelman Awareness. “Live Music by the amazing Frank Jones Band. Food, Raffles, Silent Auction.” 10am
  • Pockets: Pockets Pit Stop Car Show! “It's going to be a full day of Classic Cars, Great Food, Face Painting, 50/50 Raffle, Silent Auction, Door Prices and much more.” 10am
  • Crenshaw Lanes: TUSBC's End of the Year Tournament. “It's that time of year again! This tournament is open to all adult, sanctioned Tallahassee USBC bowlers, as of February 1, 2016. Day of Check-In/Registration will be from 9:30-10:45 AM. (We will not accept bowlers for the 11 AM shift after 10:45 AM.) There will be two shifts: 11 AM and 2:30 PM with step-ladder roll-offs after the completion of the 2:30 PM shift. Entry Fee is $20 ($10 expense, $10 prize fund)”
  • Lee Hall Auditorium: dEvi mahAmAya. “a Broadway type musical in ENGLISH based on mythological stories from India.” 2pm/$50 ($25 students)
  • Good Sam Arts: Good Sam Players 3 present "Golly Gee Whiz!" “It's the 1930s and the Great Depression has the town of Happyville feeling down. But Mickey, Judy and the gang have a plan: Let's put on a show in the old barn! Get transported to another era as you join us for this family-friendly hour of song and dance.” 4pm/free
  • 3000 Olson Rd: 103-1 The Wolf's Backyard BBQ Concert featuring Tobacco Rd. Band. “Join the Wolf Saturday, June 4th at 5pm for our first ever Backyard BBQ featuring The Tobacco Rd Band; cooked up by Hamaknockers BBQ! Bring your lawn chairs and blankets while you enjoy a concert and some smokin’ BBQ from Hamaknockers in our back yard!” 4pm
  • Pavilion @ Market Square: Pints for Paws VII. “Join us and drink the finest and freshest handcrafted beer in Florida! Experience the splendid taste of more than 50 home brewed craft beers made by more than 40 of the region’s best brewers. Talk with local home brewers and learn how to start brewing your own beer.” 4pm/$15/21+
  • Hurricane Grill: Wailin' Wolves Band CD Release Party. 6pm
  • Black Dog on the Square: THE JUMP: Teen open mic (all-format). “Produced and hosted by Astronaut Troy and featuring select performances in several genres. Free Admission. Sign up for your slot at the table. The Jump is a place for young creatives -- 15 to 18 -- to showcase themselves, their talent, and their craft to an audience of their peers. All comers and genres are welcome to this supportive space.” 7pm
  • Tallahassee Junior Museum: Night Crawl. “A guided tour of the wildlife trail plus a special opportunity to get up close and personal with one of our night creatures!” 7pm/$12
  • 6259 Hines Hill Cir: The Crypts and Max Dill with BigBoiPreme. 7pm
  • Midtown Arts and Entertainment: Sorry, Wrong Number. “A radio drama set in the 1940's about a woman who overhears a murder plot and tries to warn authorities.” 8pm/$12
  • Fermentation Lounge: Euro-Mation. “New and bold animated short films from Europe, as curated by the Tallahassee Film Festival.” 8pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Dirty Bird & The Flu with Chris Skene. 8pm/$10
  • Side Bar: Clever Girl w/ Naugahyde Park: A 70s & 80s Cover Band Dance Party. “Everyone is encouraged to dress in 70s and 80s outfits. There will be a costume contest with prizes and lots of drink specials all night!” 8pm/$7
  • Fire Bettys: Buster Wolf - the Zodiac EP Release Party. With The Ecology, Fuzzzy Nickels, Mondrian Loop, Croosh, Zu Haven, Stess The Emcee. 8pm/free
  • The Sweat Lodge (2210 W Tennessee St): Naps & Yikes Split Release w/ Coping Skills. 8:30pm/$5
  • Crum Box Gastgarden: The Crummy Comedy Showcase and Burlesque. "Comedy and burlesque have gone together since the world was in black and white. Join Tallahassee's best and brightest as they mix jokes with sultry dance moves for an evening of top notch entertainment! And while you're there enjoy some delicious food and drinks from the Crum Box boys!" 9pm
  • Bradfordville Blues Club: Joey Gilmore. 10pm
  • The Plant: The Undercurrent. “An experimental live Music and Art show where audiences explore a variety of local musical genres and artistic styles – dealing with all angles of consciousness -- in a shared space.” 11pm
SUNDAY 6/5
  • Lake Ella: Sunday Brunch Featuring Blue & Lonesome. “The Spring Concert Series is here! Come out to Lake Ella every Sunday for food trucks and live music!” 11am-2pm
  • Salty Dawg Pub & Deli: The Famous Acoustic Jam w/ Wayne, Glenn, and Bo. Open mic, free beer for performers. 6pm
  • Giggle Indoor Playcenter: John Deere Tractor Event. 2pm/$7
  • K&K Fish Camp: Wailin Wolves Band CD Release Party. 2pm
  • Midtown Arts and Entertainment: MidTalks Artists' Spotlight: Markeshia Luree Gorden. “A talented and Accomplished Theater Professional with 8 years of collective experience in Acting, Play-writing, Directing, and Actor Coaching.” 3pm/free
  • Southern Public House: Wild Creatures, The Stacktone Slims(Atlanta), Success, Kilo Tango. 5pm/free
  • Junction @ Monroe: John Jones - Celebration Of Life. “We are having a celebration of the life and music of John Michael Jones. Majic John was a local musician and friend of many in the community. He passed away on May 9th, 2016 after multiple strokes and a year long medical battle. There will be music, food, and a hearty send off for Majic John.” 6pm
  • Shark Tank: UROCHROMES / GLAND / Soda Boys / Night Witch / Gutbox ||| You're Dead. 7pm/$5/all ages
MONDAY 6/6
  • Burrito Boarder: Bar Trivia With Hank. $30 food & bar tab for first place. Specials on shots and $2 margaritas. 7 :30pm
  • Waterworks: Patio Theater. 8:30pm/21+
  • 926 Bar & Grill: Karaoke With Nathan. Drink specials and the best selection of songs in town. 10pm
Keep checking back, sometimes I update. Got anything to add?
submitted by clearliquidclearjar to Tallahassee [link] [comments]

[Table] IAma 911 operator... AMA.

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2012-08-23
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Link to my post
Questions Answers
What was your biggest success story and the one person who you just couldn't save? My biggest success story would probably be the time when I held a 30 minute conversation with someone who was contemplating suicide. He would only give me his first name, his town, and that he was a convicted felon. He refused to give me his address so I could send someone out. He was also drunk. But after digging through past files and cross referencing them with convicted felons, I found him. I sent someone to his house, and we got him the help he needed. on his way to the mental health facility he asked the deputy to tell me thank you for saving his life. It made me realize how important my job is, and how much I love it.
Also most interesting person you spoke to? The one I couldn't save.... I suppose the drownings are the hardest. By the time we can get someone out far enough to save them, they are usually gone. Don't swim in choppy waters... It's not worth it.
Wait i thought when you call 911 they automatically know where you are. Not to the T.
Don't you have caller ID? Kind of... only on land lines.
(2) Do you end up having to double-shift to cover people who don't show? 1) 12 hours.
(3) Do you have to endure random drug testing? 2) nope.
(4) Are there things you cannot legally say to a caller? To law enforcement, fire, or EMT? 3) yes.
(5) Do you work in an open area, or are you in a booth like a tech support cube worker? 4) yep.
(6) How many people are working at once? I assume there must be several. 5) pods.
(7) Are you able to have a place at work you can go to try to disconnect and chill, and maybe eat some lunch? Do you still eat on the tough days, just to make sure you can be focused? 6) 5 usually.
(8) Do you find it hard to focus when you've got home pressures? 7) no, we don't. We eat on the job.
(9) Would you say your service is well run, or are you constantly fighting against a current just to get your job done? 8) I don't have home drama usually... So, no.
(10) Are children better than adults at following directions once they understand them? 10) not really sure, I guess it all depends.
5 operators- how big of a city do you work in? And do you handle all dispatch, or is it just taking calls and putting them in the system and separate dispatchers handle sending out police, fire, etc? Panama City, FL. Decent size. We only handle law enforcement. Anything else gets transferred.
Do you serve a local community, or is it like a 911 call center for places not nearby? County wide.
What was the one call you'll always remember? My first 911 call... It was a mother who had found her son hanging by a belt. He had committed suicide. I could barely understand what she was saying, because she was so hysterical.
That's crazy, your first call too. How'd that make you feel about the job, we you taken back? I cannot tell a lie.... I cried. I cried like a baby.
Did you want to quit after that call? If you did, what made you stay? The thought crossed my mind... But I wanted to help people, and this is the best I can do right now.
I called 999 (UK 911) last year because there was a wheel bouncing down the fast lane of the motorway. I felt like it was kinda abusing 999 because it didn't really feel like a proper emergency, but I figured anyone actually HITTING a wheel at 70+ mph is going to be injured or killed. Safe to say I was justified in calling? Absolutely! That's a serious road hazard. You're a fine citizen.
I called 911 when I saw someone throwing stuff out of their vehicle at cars and driving erratically, the dispatcher said 'what do you expect me to do?'. I ended the call and called *55 on my cell (state highway patrol) and they said they had a unit really close and would get him. I ended up passing the truck a few miles ahead, the highway patrol pulled him over. I guess that means the dispatcher was just a dick? Thanks for being so nice. That dispatcher needs to get a new job.
Aww yiss, I realise how stupid I was being that I was worried the operator sounded pissed / nonchalant and that I'd called in a non issue haha. Well... This dispatcher would appreciate the call.
Are animals (moose particularly) on the highway considered a serious road hazard? Yes they are lol.
If you got a call from a land line or payphone do you instantly see the address? Yes, we do. It also gives us a room numbelot numbeor apt number.
What do you see if it's a VoIP phone? I haven't had anyone call from a voIP phone that I know of... So I'm not sure. :/
What information do you see if you get a call from a cell phone? The number, the carrier, and an approx location... It's usually within a 100 ft.
Can you track the location of the cell phone? To what level of accuracy? We can attempt to re-transmit to get a better location. Depending on the phone/carrier we can get it pinned to the exact house.
Do you got a lot of pocket dials? Does that make up a lot of false alarms? We get a ton of pocket dials. I'm guessing about 1/6 are. we return the call and make sure that they don't have an emergency and act accordingly.
Do people prank call you? Usually only kids do... And we try to hunt them down.
I like that. hunt them down. I can imagine a fully armed SWAT style Special Operations Unit designated specifically to prank calls, and standing by to unleash major manhunts for said prank callers. 911: "911 Emergency Response: What is your emergency?" * *[Unknown Voice]: *"Is... Is your refrigerator [snickers] running?" [More giggling barely audible] * 911: "This is 911 Emergency Response. Do you have an emergency?" * *[Unknown Voice]: *"Ummm.. Uhh.. [Unintelligible whispers] You should go catch it?" [Click] * 911: [To the room] "Okay, we have a Code Orange, Level 2! Get ready guys, it sounds like a sleepover!" Seven burly officers start strapping on kevlar and helmets, and several are loading shotguns. One officer is clipping flashbangs to his chest. [Que Cops intro] "Huh, Bad boys! Whatcha gun', whatcha gun', whatcha gunna' do? When Sheriff John Brown come for you." That's exactly what happens. ;)
Corporate network administrator here, if the folks who set up the IP phones did their jobs correctly there would be no way for you (or anyone else) to tell that the caller was using an IP phone :) Thank you! Then I've probably answered several.
Sorry, I know I'm a little late to the party. Maybe I've seen too many movies, but I imagine in any situation where one is in danger from another person, calling 911 might be risky and set the bad guy off. In this case, I might dial 911 and hang up. You would probably consider this a pocket-dial. When you call back, what does the number look like? Is it unlisted, or does it say "911"? It shows an extension to our law enforcement agency that can be called back.
It must be hard to handle/get info from people on diffrent drugs (especially hallucigenics). 1) how often do people call about freak-outs on non-leathal drugs? One of most dangerous drugs we deal with here is bath salts.... It's man made and extremely dangerous.
3) how common is it that people call about "overdose" on: cannabis, LSD, shrooms or any of the research chemical hallucinogen? This is an example of bath salts... That's also my voice taking the call. Link to www.youtube.com
Jesus Christ. Seems like most of the comments found that video hilarious but I thought it was terrifying. You can see in the guy's eyes that he is in distress but his brain is just NOT working as intended. What a terrible drug. That video is scary. He's obviously not in his right mind. :/
Did you say latah, as in latah county? As in Idaho? Bay county... As in bay county FL.
That's you taking the call!? Crazy coincidence, I actually looked up that video about a week or two ago to see if there was any real footage of people whacked out on bath salts. Surprisingly, this is one of the only legit videos out there. Good job getting to him before it got worse. Thank you... One of our deputies recorded and made the video so people would be aware of the effects.
I think the look in his eyes is the most disturbing part of that whole video. I've only seen that look twice, and both times "not good" was an understatement. And he was calm compared to.other bath salts users... Some get extremely combative.
Has anybody called because they were bored/lonely? We have a crazy lady in our county that calls when she's lonely... It's sad. We send someone out to check on her.
It's nice that you guys do that. Who do you actually send on those kind of outings? And do they just pop in to say hi or actually stay and chat for a bit? We send a patrol unit. And depending on the officer he will usually stay and chat a bit. Our agency tries to be very active in the community and help when we can. I wouldn't want to work for any other agency.
My grandma calls you guys when her fire alarm batteries go out, sorry haha. Aww, it happens. :)
Say I was in a hostage situation or something and I dialed 911 but then they put a gun to my head and told me to say I dialed the wrong number and hang up- is there a universal phrase or word that I can say that all (or most) dispatchers know and will recognize that there is an actual emergency? If you sounds like you're in distress most dispatchers will recognize that tone. I have asked questions that only require yes or no responses because I knew they were in trouble.
The longer you keep the operator on the phone, the better chance we have of finding your location.
What is your favorite breakfast, lunch and dinner to have on your days off? Eggs and toast for breakfast.
Spinach Salad for lunch.
Mexican food for dinner.
What was the point in this question? Lol.
Well, it is an Ask Me Anything ;) Haha... Point taken. ;)
How often do you receive calls from kids who just want to see what happens when they call? Every damn day. It gets quite annoying. Especially when the phone is out of service and we can't call it back.
True story. When I was about 6 or 7 or something, and I had worked out that Santa and the Tooth Fairy weren't real - I assumed that 111 (that's the number here) wasn't real either, so I dialled to test the hypothesis. (Then hung up immediately when they did answer). Tadaa! Lol.
One night I was working and the police showed up at my building, saying somebody dialed 911. Don't know who did it, but my theory was that you had to dial 9 to get an outside line, 1 for long distance, then the person probably had to look again at a paper, and then dialed 1 again, said "Aw poo" and hung up and dialed correctly again, not realizing what they did. Do you get a lot of dialing errors from corporate addresses? Yes we do. Hotels mostly.
In my town there was this incident of a jealous ex boyfriend holding a gun to his ex girlfriend. The current boyfriend called 911 just wondering what to do and telling her(the operator) what he should do. The operator started off semi-helpful until things started getting more out of hand. The current boyfriend is of course scared and desperate, you could hear it in his voice and the operator starts getting smart with the caller telling him to be quiet, calm down and whatnot. (they put this on news) How could he be calm in that situation? Shouldn't the operator have talked to him more about the situation? Who calls 911 calmly? "uh, 911, it appears there is a man with a gun pointed at my gf, would you kindly help?" Is it a smaller town? Some agencies aren't prepared for traumatic events... That would not be tolerated here. If he wasn't in distress I would be worried.
If you don't want to anwser this questions, that's okay. I'm just a curious guy. What's your salary? Do earn/get bouneses? W.e u call it bonus....blahh If yes how often? Annualy or montly and how much ? Just curious thank you in advance Our salary is 26,000 with opportunity to work overtime. We sometimes get bonuses at Christmas ranging from $100 - 500.
Very sad that you don't get paid more for what you do. Yeah, that would be nice. Lol.
Holy crap...that's insane! Do you at least get some sort of free counseling? I'm sure we do... But I didn't look into it.
If i were to call, what could I do to ensure that you understand me? Sorry I didn't know how to phrase the question. Know where you are and answer the dispatchers questions. And please, please be patient. we're trying our hardest to help you.
Is 911 texting real? Is it going to be? Not for our agency... But I've heard rumors about other agencies having it.
Do you ever answer your cell phone/home phone and respond with "911, what's your emergency?" I have before lol.... But I hate being on the phone outside of work. I text instead.
You must be younger than 30 :-D. )
That's so clever. Anyone fall for it? Yeah, they don't think twice about it. Lol.
Can you reveal the state or area? Florida Panhandle... I live in the spring break capital of the world. :)
I'm dispatch up in Baltimore, MD... I despise water calls, I can only imagine how many you get. Spring break is a nightmare.
Hmm, I dispatch at Eglin. You have the same desks as us, and the same centracom radios. You even have the same wireless radio handsets. However, that keyboard is foreign to me, therefor, I know it isn't in my dispatch center. Where the fuck do you work sir. It's ma'am. ;)
And Bay Co SO
Oh boy....i went there on a few of my spring breaks. Stayed at the Holiday Inn Sunspree. A dude actually fell of a balcony while trying to climb from one floor to another. Yeah... That's a common occurrence during spring break. :/
Panama City Florida. I'm from F.W.B. i can only imagine the calls you get. Neighbor! :))
As another Florida Panhandler I sympathize with you, you must get some absolutely insane calls. We've got some crazy people here. :p I'm not from Panama City, but I'm from a well known city that's just a hundred miles or so away. Another neighbor! :)
If it's panama city, I've spent a fair amount of time there, one of the few great places of florida. Tis Panama City.
I live in your area, I worked at Sallie Mae until it closed down :( keep up the great work! Sorry about your job. :/ I had a friend at Sallie Mae also.
Grew up on that beach. I've got a buddy who currently is an EMT there. How many calls do you guys (and gals) average during spring break? Way too many... I have the stats somewhere.
Shout out from Pensacola! HOLLA! What up? Haha.
I'm also from the Florida panhandle. I've lived all over the FWB area! Tons of my family are still there. Small world, reddit. Thank you for what you do! Being a hero, and all. :) Not a hero... Just a helper. ;)
Up here, winter...oh my lord, Snowmageddon. Haha... I'm glad we don't have to deal with snow. No one down here can drive, and that means that they definitely can't drive in snow.
Do you work nights? If so I'm fairly certain I talk to you on a nightly basis on the FIN. I just switched to night shift.... What agency?
I'm Eglin Fire. Any FIN call you do into Eglin would come to my center. I'll be working Fri/Sat/Sun. Should you do a FIN test, you'll get me. Two months ago, I called you guys every other night lol.
I don't work this weekend... But I'm sure one of our people will annoy you. Lol.
Small world. :)
What has been the scariest call you've recieved ? A bomb threat.
How did you handle it? Like what did you say to the person We have a list of questions we are required to ask. The scary part was when the deputies were clearing the building.... The waiting.
Did they specify where? Like a school, train/bus station, something of that nature? I don't mean to cross any lines, just curious is all. It was a well known business.
Did it end up being legitimate? Nope... False alarm.
While it's on my mind now, I have a related story and then a question. The story isn't necessary to understand the question, but the story's what made me think of it. :P. My mom was in a casino when she was told that there was a man with a gun in the building, so she and a bunch of others were evacuated. My dad was in their hotel room, so she called him and told him about the gunman and said that it was probably best to lock everything and stay inside. However, when she got to the evacuation spot, she was told that there was a bomb in the building. She asked the person who told her there was a gunner, and the employee said that the officer was wrong. Trying to get the story straight - reacting to a gun and a bomb are completely different - she asked a different officer, who said there was a gun. After a short while, everything seemed to be figured out, and everyone was allowed back into the casino. Nothing happened, thankfully, but I don't think it takes much imagination to think of what could have happened. So, have you experienced any sort of miscommunication like this? If so, were you able to straighten it out, and how did you do that? If not, is there a procedure to iron these things out? When we recurve multiple calls about an incident every story is different. :/ different color vehicle, the white person is black, and apparently green shorts look white. It's a cluster sometimes.
"It WAS" Haha IS. sorry.
I'm taking a dispatcher class at my highschool this upcoming year. Are there any tips you could give someone if they were new to your field? That's awesome! We didn't have anything like that at my high school. Multitasking is the biggest part of my job. I alternate between talking to people on the phone, radio, and in the room all at once.
I heard a lot of 911 operators get PTSD or just find the emotional toll of the job too heavy. Does it ever get to you? The first year was really hard... You have to learn how to get your job done without letting the emotional part effect you. It's still hard at times. The most difficult calls for me are when children are in danger or have been killed.
Do you often learn the fate of the people you help? Yes... :/ it's nice to have closure, but it's still sad to hear of the death.
Do they offer any resources such as counseling and the like? Not to my knowledge. :/
If your center is NENA compliant, you must have counseling available. Check your employee bulletin board. We probably do... I just haven't seen it, or looked hard enough.
How many calls would you say you receive a night? A couple thousand maybe.
How many of those are responded to urgently? Like, say, a domestic violence call with a weapon vs. a noise complaint? I wanna say about 60% of our calls are priorities.
Do you work 3 days, then have 4 off? No idea how you manage to do that for 12 hours. I'm amazed by people who can do any high-stress, high-stakes job for 12 hours at a stretch. Well-oiled machine indeed. There's definitely no chance to get rusty. Two on, two off, three on, two off, two on, three off
What are some of the things that are illegal to say to a caller / emergency responder? We can't give legal advice to callers.
What's your favourite type of salad dressing? Balsamic vinaigrette. ;)
Next time you're in P'cola, hit The Bodacious Olive downtown. Dozens of badass vinaigrettes. Just got me some Maple Vinaigrette. It's so good I keep a small bottle on me at all times. That good. That sounds devine. I might just do that.
Might seem silly but I've always wondered... If I was being threatened and managed to subtly call 911 but wasn't able to say anything (for fear of the person noticing) would you realise what was happening if I stayed on the line? Or would it be assumed that it's a pocket dial? If it was a land line then I would automatically send someone out. if it's a cell phone I would stay on the lone and listen for any clues of location and attempt to narrow down your location.
What do you say when you pick up? It was, "Bay county 911, what is your emergency?"
Now it's, "Sheriff's office 911, what is your emergency?"
How often do you answer your personal phone this way? If you do how often do people think they made an error? I think I've only done it once or twice... And I had just woken up. Lol I think they realized I was crazy and continued their conversation. ;)
Do you have a favorite (preferred) type of call? I like to talk to crazy people....
How fast do you type? (in words per min) 75-80 WPM. ;)
Jesus Christ, is this a required speed, or just a profession? Required is only 35WPM.
Don't take this too seriously, but... What's your K/D ratio? Not sure... I try not to kill people.
Would you rather be a 0118 999 881 999 119 7253 operator? Nope. :) I'm content.
What is your opinion on this: Link to www.youtube.com. In the span of your career have you ever witnessed a co-worker do something similar? If not, what is the worst way you have ever seen a call handled? That's awful. We have some older ladies that are extremely slow and hard of hearing (close to retirement) and it bothers me to watch them take a call.
Whats the craziest/weirdest call you've received? Something that made you pause and think "what the fuck...?" A guy told me his ex gf had turrets of the vagina and that.her new bf was pimping her out and taking advantage of her. I seriously stopped and was like... Wtf!? I asked the man if he was serious, and what turrets of the vagina was... He then Explained the condition and told me he saw it on Oprah.
Do you always call people back? My friend once butt-dialed 911, and they called back telling her not to hang up next time that happened. Is there a reason not to hang up? On cell phones we don't respond unless you say you have an emergency... So of you stay on the line to let us know you're ok, that'd be great.
Im an EMT on a first aid squad in new jersey. Whenever we get calls it seems like the dispatchers always screw something up. Either hitting out the wrong tones for the squad, or just mumbling while giving the dispatch. Is it easy to mess up? like giving wrong info or hitting out wrong tones? I don't make it a habit to fuck up. and I've been told I have a lovely radio voice. Maybe you need new dispatchers.
Why is it that when multiple phone calls are made to the same place the police are notified? For example, when I called my sister like 25 times in a row for pranks calls the police called, and asked me why I was calling that phone number so much. We don't have that system.... That's weird.
Do you have to send a officer out for every call? Even if you know its a little kid or a mistake? If it's a land line, yes.
A little late here, but what percentage of your calls would you estimate involve alcohol? 40% lol or 80% during spring break.
Do they keep an active record of things like "Chronic Callers"? Or people who call often with non emergencies? If so, are you just notified with a status or are they eventually rerouted to a different calm center or anything? We have some that are taken to jail for harassment of 911. But it rarely holds up in court.
Have you ever received any prank calls that, while they were annoying at the time, you look back on and find funny? Sometimes they say funny things... But it's still annoying because it's tying up a line that a person may need.
Does your town use 911 for non-emergency calls as well? I know several regions where if you call the local PD directly for non-emergency stuff they will tell you to call 911 so it can go through that dispatch system. No, we do not. We refer you to a non emergency number if you call 911 without an emergency.
I'm sorry for the boring and crudely written question, but I always wondered this: Is it ok to call 911 if your car runs out of gas or you get a flat tire (or for other similar events which aren't exactly emergencies)? Is there a specific department and number that can be called for these type of events? If you're in a town that you're not familiar with I suppose that would be ok... But calling the non emergency number for the police dept would be ideal.
Thank you. Does the non-emergency number vary from location to location or is it a standard number like 911? It varies :/
Why do most operators have an attitude with the callers? A lot of dispatchers do not like their job unfortunately. :/
How frequent do you get calls? Are you ever bored? Sometimes we have down time and it gets slow.... But only during the night, and it usually doesn't last long.
The number in my country is 112..when I was a kid I dialled 111111222222 or something like that thinking that nothing would happen (silly). The suddenly an emergency operator picked up. Is this a feature that you incorporate as well and do you think it is meant to make people in distress easier to reach the emergency line? I've often thought about this. I believe our system does the same thing.
Was I out of line to call and report the guys in the boat? I mean, I guess I just hope that if somebody saw me and I looked like I needed help that they'd call 911. I'd rather have an officer appear and me need nothing than to be desperate for help and feel like nobody was watching. You did the right thing in my book. ;)
I've had to call 911 a lot for various reasons and I want to say thanks to you and others like you who do your job so well. :) Also, because of medical conditions I have, I've trained my kids to call 911 (and even read off my medic alert ID if necessary)...is there something you would recommend me telling them/teaching them in the event that they have to call on my behalf (or anyone's, really)? That we are there to help them. :)
Do you actually dispatch or do you take the 911 calls and someone else nearby dispatches out the appropriate apparatus/personnel. Do you do both? Do all systems do it the same? I do it all... Answer, dispatch, and run warrants.
Do you look at the world in a different light now? How long have you been doing this? Three years.... And I'm definitely not as naive.
Probably buried now, but during a shift do you usually have a constant stream of calls, or will you sometimes sit around for half an hour waiting for the phone to ring? Usually pretty constant. :)
Do you ever follow a case just to see what happened? I couldnt imagine answering a 911 call about some hostage situation and then just handing it over to local PD and not knowing what happened. How do you find out if you really want to know what happened? We have access to reports for our agency.
Does keeping the GPS turned on on my cell phone make it easier and faster for you guys to find me? Or is the cell phone tower signal just as fast? I'm not sure... I should look into that.
I called 911 when a car almost hit a bike rider then the bike rider started yelling. exact quote: YO BITCH YOU WANNA GO? I HAVE A KNIFE! driver: COME AT ME BRO! Did I do it right? Perfect... If you're in Jersey Shore .
What's the average length of a 911 call? Less than two minutes.
If you don't mind me asking how much money do you make a year? You do not have to answer this question. Also what really happens if I call 911 and then hang up real quick? 26k... And I'll call you right back.
THAT'S NOT ENOUGH... and duly noted. Thank you. Yes, I know. :/ I feel like I should set up a donation box to feed the poor. (me) lol.
Last updated: 2012-08-30 14:20 UTC
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[Table] IAmA: I am 26, have been homeless for 8 years, have never panhandled, and like my life. AMA.

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Date: 2012-12-01
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Questions Answers
Do you have any animals you keep around to, you know, comfort you? I have not had any animals, but I have considered it, I just feel like it would limit my freedom to much for my liking. I have met plenty of travelers who do have them. I feel like if I were a chick I would have a dog for protection.
Edit: just saw your name, your italics make sense now.
What is the most dangerous situation you've been in? I got attacked by four guys once, could have been much worse than it was, I was asleep but they woke me up before they attacked me. The attack started with waterballoons, escalated into kicks, and climaxed with a crowbar to the forehead with a bit of blood, this is when I ran away. I went to the cops and found out a girl had gotten attacked at the same place earlier that night by 4 guys and a crowbar, she died.
That's really sad. I went out of my way to help people that are homeless here in Atlanta, it's sad to see that people are going out of their way to do the exact opposite. The stories and scars I have seen are heartbreaking and absurd, I was in the keys when a humbum was beat to the point that he had no more facial features.
It is always nice to hear of people helping out. I think way more helpful than a couple bucks is a conversation that aims at getting to know their personal situation because then you can see what specific actions could be taken to help them. Lots of homeless will turn your 10bucks into a night of not having to consider their future or their pathetic situation which just makes it worse for them long run, but if you can find one that legitly wants out of their rut and you can help them with some job searching help, use of computer or phone, encouragement, incentives(if I see you working a job I will give you a hundred bucks...),a backyard or garage until they start getting paychecks, you can really change a life...
Offtopic: Are you redditing on your phone, or are you at an Internet café? I am redditing on my phone at starbucks with their wifi, I have no plan on my phone.
How do you make money? Where do you sleep? Where do you shower? I make money by juggling and balancing things on my nose, as well as the occasional magic trick.
I sleep behind abandoned buildings, in woods, on public transit, occasionally on a kind strangers porch or couch. The more I do this, the more I run into people I know who house me for a night here or there.
I answered the shower question.
Have somebody film you performing and put it on youtube along with your story. then tell him to cut you in on the royalties- then end up making more money than all of us; then own your own starbucks I occasionally go on little hunts through youtube for videos of myself, I have found quite a few, but I have a feeling most I wont find because the searches are all quite generic "juggler in boulder" or whatever bc I dont tell my name when I perform...
A Stage Name perhaps? Actually it is not that I dont want ppl to know my name, it is that I dont like to talk when I perform. I have always liked the idea that I can get paid just to stand and practice what I want to practice without focusing on patter and jokes and stuff. I make less money because of this, but I think it is worth it. And a sign next to me has always stuck as something I dont want to do, I dont mind not being able to find all the videos of me, if they are good enough then they will float to the surface of the internet and I will see them, and plus I can always video myself and watch it all I want.
You can't possibly still be in Boulder for another month or so...are you nomadic, or do you have a semi stable living arrangement with friends during the Winter? I left boulder almost 2 months ago, I was there about a week this time. I was just using it as an example of how I hunt for myself on youtube. I have a place I can crash in boulder if I want though.. A few days at a time at least. Boulder is very easy outdoor sleeping, the cold is an issue for me there though. I am pretty sure I will be outside mostly this winter wherever I end up.
What are you going to do when you turn an age where you are no longer capable of keeping up with such stressful physical activities to support yourself? You seem somewhat intelligent, was there some sort of breakdown or turning point in your life? Are you addicted to drugs? Possibly teach juggling or other circus arts. The past couple years I have been listening to ttc lectures quite a bit, kind of trying to broaden my levels of interest, sort of looking for something that interests me. I have had a few turning points I would say, questioning my religious upbringing was a big one about 7 years ago, really trying to separate the learned from the experienced and sorting out what was true and what I was pretending to be true based on what I thought those close to me wanted me to hold as true. Later on there was realising that I enjoyed my life more the more I took care of myself, years ago I would use food stamps and regularly eat at soup kitchens, but I met enough people in that world that I decided it would make me happier to have more control over my life.
I have had my times with different drugs, I dont regret them, dont have a problem with addicts, I have met a lot of fascinating crackheads. I talk about drugs more in the response to someone elses question.
fascinating crackheads. Do, I prithee, go on... From my experience, the magic of a crackhead is one that can only be experienced first hand, it is that mindset that turns on a dime, they can be extremely distraught over their addiction and the course their life has taken one moment and seconds later with one small puff of a pipe their problems vanish, they rule the world, all of existence was created for the sole purpose of bringing them pleasure. I had a 19 yr old crackwhore who could barely walk up steps, all her bones showing through her skin, tell me that she knew crack was killing her, but as long as she kept getting high she didnt care. This girl told me she hated water, it was soda crack and chips for her.
Fascinating crackheads? Do go on... Can you give me your best fascinating crackhead story? It is more the thing that they all have in common that has always fascinated me, not particularly individual stories. Lots of crackheads are in surrealy similar situations. The high only lasts 7-15 minutes, and 15 is far end, after that all that matters is getting more crack you can see it in their eyes that anything else you are talking about other than getting them more crack money is going right past them. It is like when a really horny is talking to a really hot chick, he just nods and agrees while his mind keeps saying "when we gunna fuck?". The are like golum from lotr.
Where specifically in Starbucks? I just cut a hole in the seat of my pants and hop up on the garbage hole on the counter at the cream and sugar station, nobody ever knows what I am doing.
Why starbucks? is there some advantage to going there or do you have something against them? I guess I just kind of jumped onboard with a running joke amongst street people with starbucks being a goto bathroom for them. However, if given a choice, i would generally choose anywhere over starbucks for shitting bc starbucks is almost always individual use only so if you are going to take a nice long relaxed shit you come out to awkward glares from a long line of strangers. More stalls the better, so not actually starbucks. The best qre train stations, airports, libraries, casinos...
Washing yourself is better at starbucks though bc you can strip down, scrub up with soapy paper towels, rinse off, and when you leave everybody thinks you were just taking a shit, but they have no idea what you were doing...
I also work at starbucks, all the homeless do at our store is dig cups out of the trash so they can get refills, and shit all over the bathroom. I really mean it. They SHIT alll over the bathroom. It is because you guys have those private bathrooms and you dont use customer only keys in most cities.
The cup thing is ending at lots of starbucks so the humbums are switching over to einstein bros bc if you find a cup there you can fill it up yourself and dont have to pay 54 cents. It is just like mcdonalds soft drinks.
Whats the hardest part? Hardest part: It definetly changes from time to time, loneliness can be pretty rough at times, I find it hard to relate with the dirty homeless beggar type person, which is most of them, and just living in a very different world than they average guy makes it hard to relate there too. So lots of my time is spent by myself. That is probably what has made me decide to do this. It is weird though because at other times I treasure my solitude and ability to be by myself, this is the case more often than not. I am not generally wondering around feeling sad and alone, but it does get to me times.
Whats the best part? Best part: My freedom. I am never obliged to do anything. If I am into a book, it normally goes down in one big gulp. If I want to see texas, I just go. If you are annoying me, I delete you from my life. I can always do what I want when I want, no boss, roomates, nothing that most people seem to feel they must 'put up with'.
How do you get your basic needs met? Basic needs: Well, food is the biggest issue. I make money to buy food when I can by juggling when I can, when I cannot for some reason I have come up with different ways to get food. When I was new I would eat at soup kitchens, but that generally left me feeling shitty, not because the food was bad, it often is quite good, but because I would feel like a leech on society. It is very rare that I do that now. Nowadays if I feel I must eat and have no money I will look for leftover containers near or in garbages, or dig in grocery store dumpsters. It is amazing how much better I feel when I dont eat much compared to when I eat alot. Often it is one meal a day and a snack. What other basic needs are there? Medical has been a non-issue. I carry a tooth brush..
So you don't want a job or just don't have any? How do you get money for food and other things you might need? Where do you sleep in winter? I am not currently pursuing employment, however if the right job were to present itself I would certainly accept it. I get lots off food for free, but I also make some money juggling, and the occasional odd job. Winters I almost always go south, the florida keys, socal, hawaii, new orleans..
Do you get food poisoning from eating out of dumpsters? Are you ever picky about what you eat (stale food, bad flavor or texture)? I have never gotten sick from eating out of a garbage/dumpster that I know of. Garbage food is always leftovers that were just purchased, or food still packaged that just went past expiration date and is still good. Sometimes I will go to mall foodcourts, look around at all the eaters, spot some that I doubt will finish their food and position myself between them and the garbage and just do a quick "mind if I take that for you?" as they are walking toward the bin, people love giving away food instead of throwing it away, and foodcourts love selling more food than people eat.
I try to stick to a pretty vegan diet, but I certainly do make regular exceptipn based on hunger, but it has almost never come to stale food.
How did you like new orleans? I havnt been there in years but the big thing that sticks out was how talented the street performers were and how performer friendly the laws and tourists were. There were some really amazing magicians there, and very likely still are.
I imagine dumpster food to be pretty dangerous to eat since it could come in contact with dirty surfaces there. The food court idea is actually really smart since that will be your freshest food. Were you ever a couple seconds too late and they threw it out, and say you go after that food in the trash? Haha, yesterday I was midsentence when a girl dumped 2 pizza rolls and pasta in the garbage, and no I didnt go after it. I will take the closed styrofoam container 'whiteboxes' out though. So far as them coming in contact with dangerous stuff, I dont dig, I just pull off the top, and I stick to areas with garages that are often changed. Oh, and packaged dumpster food I wash.
I was with a girl a few years back who pulled an icecream cone out of a garbage and ate it, that shit was fucked up.
Have you ever called up a pizzeria, ordered something for pick up, then just wait for them to throw out your order once they realize you're not going to pick it up? I typed up an answer to this but it is gone, maybe I replied somewhere else accidently.. But no I have not done this and I doubt it would work bc in highschool I worked for pizzahut and when that would happen we would get to eat the pizza back at the store. It wasnt beyond us to call in fake orders..
The closest I have done was tell fastfood places they fucked up my order the other day and that I had called in and was told to come in and someone would give me what was left out.. I even had a worker lie and tell me that he was the one who took my bullshit call... I have not done this for about three or four years.
Do you shave or do you have the stereotypical homeless guy scruff? I shave and keep clean, if you dont see me with my stuff you dont know I am homeless.
You mentioned you have a little brother. How does he or any other family members feel about your way of life? Do you worry that something might happen to you and they won't know? Sorry for being depressing, I really am glad you decided to do this AMA. Family worried some at first but less now. I talk about this some in another response. However, my little brother specifically I think will end up traveling, he allready tried taking off on his own once but got caught by the cops. So far as something happening to me and nobody knowing, I am ok with this, if my body is not burried 'properly' dont mind, I feel bad for my family though if this is the case because it would be such a drawn out painful process of not knowing if I am alive and not communicating for longer than normal or if I am dead or stuck somewhere. My concern for how they would feel is not enough for me to want to make sure I am constantly surrounded by people who would know who to contact if I go missing.
Do you have a family that you keep in touch with? What do they think of your lifestyle? What about falling in love and having a relationship? Is your aim to get into a position where you do have a home, or don't you think about your long term situation? I keep in touch with my family rarely, I prefer to interact in person, I have allready done more typing in this ama than I have done in the last 2 years. I dont have a phone plan, so I rarely call. So when I am in their towns I hang out but thats about it. I have never had a girlfriend, but there have been a couple girls that I have hung out with for a month here and there in open relationship style. My longest relationship has been a platonic one with a guy a couple years older than me, we have traveled for about 2 years together on and off over the span of the last four years. I guess so far as a place goes, I come more from a point of view that if there is something I want to do and having a place will make that possible, then having one is what I want, but getting a place as a goal in and of itself is not my desire.
Where do you sleep? If you are in a tent, how do you secure it? Do you ever feel venerable when you sleep at night? Thank you. In parks, woods, public transit, behind churches is good bc they are almost never there so nobody ever knows and if they do show up they are not dicks about it. In and around lots of abandoned places like casinos, apartment complexes, motels, churches, houses. Sometimes just out of view in busy places, under bushes, bridges, behind dumpsters.
Greatest place was in an apartment building where I went into an apartment and constructed a closet in front of a bedroom door, completely concealing it, filled the closet with clothing so to get into my room you would have to slide all the clothes to the side and then slide the back of the closet to the side. Narnia style.
I dont have tent, traveled with one for a week, but replaced it with a tarp, easier to carry. If I must I lay on it and pull it over me and tuck it on the other side like a buritto.
I have gotten good at picking spots to stay safe from drunks and cops amd such, out of sight out of mind.
...constructed a closet in front of a bedroom door... What what what??? how did you do this without a truck full of tools? This is brilliant! Was there an empty apartment? How did it end? My hobby at that time was going around at night and 'looting' abandoned and half burned buildings, so I found this big closet, the kind that is like an enyertainment center, not the kind that is like a room. The only tool I needed was a knife with the end broken off so it became a flathead screwdriver. The hard part was moving the thing piece be piece to my place, but once there I put it back together in front of my bedroom door, I set up the room it was in to look like a lived in bedroom so nobody who broke into my squat(abandoned apartment I was occupying) would assume the dummy room was mine and I would be safe behind the closet in my actual room. I was young at the time and very worried about sleeping safely. I stayed in that squat for about 2 months. This was in spain, I was 18. It ended with the building being demolished.
How did you get a visa to Spain? Or, if you're Spanish, how did you get a visa to the US? Visas for the main part of the eu are easy to get for 3mo at a time, you just fly in and they stamp your passport. From my experience the uk wants to see money before they give you one so they know you are not a bum coming to live off of them. Im from the us.
I would like to hear more about this building being demolished. Did you just wake-up one morning with the sounds of workers in your squat? Did you find out about it before hand and leave before the building went down? Ok, so this is what happeneafter I had been in there around 2 months, I met a group of squatters that all lived together in another building, they had just gotten notices posted all around their building saying that they had to move out bc their building was gunna be demolished. Since they had no place else to go and I had a ton of empty apartments in my building I took them over to my building and we went up to the top floor(my apt was on 2nd floor). On the top floor there were 3 small apts, so we connected 2 of them by bashing out a wall, we got their electrical fixed too(i had done this at my apt as well). So, we start moving all their stuff in and these 2 random homeless guys show up and freak out saying they live in the top floor, we assumed that nobody was up there bc it was a mess and there was no electricity when we found it. So to make them happy I gave them my apt and moved in with my squating budies on the top floor, after about a week the cops showed up and told us that we had to move out bc now our building was set to get demolished, it was around that time that I flew back to england, my squating friends found another squat, a really nice one, a house, not another apt.
Where in Spain did you live? And when you left did you just fly back to the states? I was in the north of spain in bilbao, and ya I came back to the states afterwards.
Don't you miss women? I do. I am not in a hurry though, I tend to subscribe to the view that if you do what makes you happy then you will find other people doing the same and then neither of you will be so dependent on the other to be happy. I also kind of wonder if maybe in some way I dont realise just how amazing a relationship can be, makes me excited about the future.
How long has it been since the last time you had sex/a relationship with someone? Could you briefly describe the circumstances? Haha, it was in atlantic city about 16 months ago, she was a mid thirties single mom, lost, looking for the bus to jersey city I think, we ended up swimming in the ocean for a bit, I bought a hotel room and thats about it, I showed her where the bus to jersey was the next day.
I'm not homeless but I couldn't even afford a hotel room right now How could you. At that time I had up over 5k cash, it made me nervous carrying that much so I never minded spending it, I bought a 100 dollar ticket to see britney spears within a few days of that, just because I could. But generally I stick right around 0(cash, not savings)and make money when I need it.
I've noticed a high male to female ratio of homeless people on the streets, even among the young travelers. Why do you think this is? Are there more women's shelters, or do women have more incentive to get off the street because of the danger of assault? I dont think it is because there are more female shelters, I think it is because it is more dangerous, rapes and attacks. Also it more common for a housed male to take in a homeless female for companionship or sex than viceversa.
Ever bang any female homeless chicks? Yes, that I have done.
I've never even thought life as a female traveler would be possible for me, is it at all plausible? O yes, very plausible, lots of the teen and 20s travelers seem to travel in groups for companionship, but safety is an added benefit too. I often prefer to travel alone, and I have met solo traveler chicks, some go with dogs fir safety and they say a dog will increase your begging income as much as a guitar. If you want a group you can always go to a very traveler heavy town to start and find a crew. Lots of ppl have mentioned some main ones, both portlands, stsanta cruz, ann arbour, nyc's east village.. Just to name a few, if you are interested you can post a city and I can try and name a mecca close by.
What's your benefit to society? My benefit to society is too difficult to measure for it to be anything but opinion, and so take this ama for example, it was only possible as a result of the lifestyle I live, so is this ama beneficial to society? If so, does it justify the costs that society has incurred on my behalf? Some say it does, some say it doesnt, I dunno, but I am having a pretty good time.
Just curious, but do you think the fact that you have never pan-handled means you don't live off society? I feel like I do live off society, everyone in society does. I dont live off pity though, not for moral reasons, but because you get better at what you do and I dont eant to be good at making people feel bad for me, I want to get good at doing stuff that people want to see to the point that they decide it is in their best interest to give me their hard earned money. As a street performer I am offering my services for societies money, skills that I have been cultivating since I was 13, that I paid society to help me develope when I trained at a school of circus arts after highschool (i could only afford tuition not rent, this is why I initially became homeless). I do not look down on those who beg, it is just unique that you meet a homeless guy who doesn't that is why I mentioned it. Even beggers offer those who donate to them something, they get a good feeling that you can only get when you help someone else out, but im not saying that I myself subscribe to an altruistic philosophy, and I dont give to beggars because I know how easy food is to get (in america), and thus thats not what they actually need money for in almost every case that I have encountered.
I think I just ranted. Tldr; I live off society via an exchange of my services for societies money, don't we all?
My questions are really more of general interest, rather than any type of attack on you. Others have questioned many other things. My general interest was on your self image and how you felt about the way you live. I really do appreciate the honest replies. I am really unsure about how I see myself, I dont know if my contributions outweigh the burden I put on society, I dont regret the experiences I have had and the people I have met but I am wondering if I might not be more fullfilled living a different life, I think that is a big part of why I am doing this ama. Its not just to see how ppl see me or to show ppl a different type of life, but to help me reevaluate how I see myself.
Why did you choose to live this kind of live? Thanks for the AMA! It started because I really wanted to go to a particular circus arts college after highschool and had limited funds, it was tuition or rent. It continued because traveling to the school gave me the travel bug and living off nothing while at the school gave me the confidence to continue doing it. I left the school after three months and have been travelling ever since.
I am also very thankful for this ama, it has been quite a blessing to have so many people interested in discussing my life with me. So, you're welcome, and thankyou too!
How do you live then without panhandling? Do you have a job? I have gotten a few month or two long jobs on farms at which times the farmers house me) and then lived off that money for awhile, but 95% of the time momey comes from street performing, or living money free when I dont want to perform. Oh, I also lived in a van for a short stretch and made money as an emergency long distance delivery driver, that allowed me to amass the savings that I now have, but rarely touch. I like living around zero as opposed to constantly pulling money out of savings, but I do occasionally when money is tough and I want to fly or something.
So since you have a savings what is your long term plans? A few things, the connection between music and juggling has long fascinated me and I would like to develope a set off juggling balls that send there location to a computer which converts the peak height of each throw to a sound, so I can then not only juggle to music but make music while I juggle. I would also like to work with a band at some point.
I would like to write a book at some point both about my travels and how anyone can travel very cheap.For example, I just rode my bicycle from new hampshire to san diego(i got a couple rides in some rough spots) I had 13 dollars cash when I started and didnt touch my savings until I finished(i got myself a place for a couple weeks after I finished).
Link to www.youtube.com. Piano juggling. Pretty neat stuff! Thats a good one, lots of the piono jugglers have setups where the next note in a recorded song place regardless of where they hit, but that guy seemed to be actually playing a song.
I like that you call 13 dollars savings! To me that is broke as fuck. Not criticizing at all, I really think that is great. Lol, no 13 was my spending cash, my savings is all in bitcoin and is a bit larger than 13 bucks, hence being able to get a place for a couple weeks with it.
I'd read the fuck out of an article or two of yours. Thank you! I havnt written this much in years and I have been enjoying it immensely, I appreciate your encouragement.
Whats are some good towns you have been through? Some towns are more "forgiving" than others. Well, I have some favorites, nyc, all of hawaii, st louis, santa cruz, portland maine, burlington vt, lots of east fl, boulder co, bilbao spain.. These ones stick out now, but im sure there are others that ill think of later and wont be able to believe I didnt put them down. Oh south western is awsome for there bike path system, they have hundreds of miles of pathes all around columbus, dayton and that whole area, even down to Cincinnati I think.
This guy is homeless and he does more traveling than me. I must be doing something wrong. Well, it is sort of like I am homeless to make it so easy to travel, everytime I go town to town the only expences I have are those I feel I need to keep myself going. No paying rent somewhere I am not, no hotel rooms(generally), just food, pleasures, and necessities.
I live in portland, Maine! Link to www.reddit.com
If you ever pass through Saint Louis and need anything please feel free to hit me up. Thanks man! I love st louis, university city to be precise, I was there about 3 months ago.
If you're out "east FL" way, hit me up, my man. I have a nice couch and cold beer. Thanks man, I have hit up almost every, maybe even every town on the east coast of fl, so I was very likely in your town before. It has been quite a few years so I just may be due for another trip that way.
I'm from Santa Cruz, What did you enjoy so much about it? It was both a very special time in my life, I had just gone from a year of really being very alone to cramming into a van with five guys and driving across the country, when we found santa cruz we all just knew it was the place for us. There are so many travelers there, the locals are very supportive of travelers, especially performers passing through. There are woods so close by the downtown area, which are the best place to sleep. The college there is gorgeous, and it is very easy to audit the occasional class there which is an immensely fun passtime. They have one of the largest weekly meetup of firespinners and drummers in the country, up on the cliffs by the lighthouse. The dog sculptures on the street (pacific I think) where dogs are banned always made me laugh.
How did you get to hawaii? Airplane, been there 3 or 4 times, answered this elsewhere, but tickets can get cheap if you check obsessively and are willing to fly immediatly upon finding a good deal. Ive got some savings stashed away that I have gathered up from doing some legit jobs in the past.
Last updated: 2012-12-09 10:47 UTC
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